Breaking the Interview Rules!

Candidates are used to it. Most candidates will answer an interviewer's question in a sentence or two and then fall silent, waiting for the next question.

The interviewer is likely to ask another question in that silence, and the candidate will answer, and so on.

I encourage you to make your interviews more natural and conversational by doing these three things:

1. Don't wait for the interviewer to ask you a question before speaking (examples below).

2. Answer some of the interviewer's questions with a tag (a question inside your answer) to gently nudge your interviewer off the script. Here's an example: "I did a mix of customer support and sales support things in my last job. Is this job more involved with customer support, or sales support?"

3. Take every opportunity you can (for instance, when you are asked an open-ended question like "Tell me about yourself!") to get off the script and into a human conversation. Ask a question about the role, or ask your interviewer to tell you more about the organization and its culture.

The more free-wheeling and relaxed the interview conversation is, the more comfortable you and your interviewer will be. You will be more memorable. You will be in your power. Go ahead and break the old rule that says you must sit silently and wait for your interviewer to speak first!

Here are three ways to start a conversation with your interviewer as you sit down in the interview room (rather than waiting for him or her to start the interview):

Thanks for inviting me. I'd love to hear about your history with the company! (Almost everyone likes to talk about themselves, and doing so will also make your interviewer more relaxed)."

"You must be busy with [a project you read about on the company's website, or a recent news item]."

"I'm glad to meet you! I'm interested to hear about your role, if you've got a moment to share."

You are not trying to take over the conversation and control it, but rather through your friendly and open manner to give the interviewer social permission to put the script aside. Interviewers across the U.S. and around the world tell me that they're dying to get off the script but that most candidates are trained to followed the scripted approach.

Most candidates dare not disrupt the traditional interviewer/candidate dynamic -- but I hope you will!

Of course, there are other interviewers who would rather die than give up their interview script. They love it. They swear by it. They write to me to defend the stupidest interview questions you can imagine.

God bless them. They are on their paths. Your job is to spot people like that and steer clear of them. If you get a bad vibe from the people you meet on a job interview, it's a signal from Mother Nature. Don't take the job.

Here are ten interviewing rules you can break now -- and you must, if you want to get as much out of a job interview as you deserve to get.

1. Break the rule that says you have to sit across the table from the interviewer, hands folded and back straight, and crisply answer each question before going quiet and waiting for the next question.

2. Break the rule that says you have to wait for a predetermined spot in the interview agenda -- typically near the end of the interview -- to ask questions. If your question is organic to the conversation, ask it when you think of it.

3. Break the rule that says you have to keep your answers strictly on point like an oral exam in school. You can always answer a question with a quick story, even if it's not a story-type question like, "Tell me about a time when..." If the interviewer asks you how long you've been using Excel, for instance, you can tell a story about how you used Excel to rock the house. Then you can ask the interviewer, "How will the person in this job use Excel?"

The interviewer may not know the answer! Their question "How long have you used Excel?" was a dumb question because they were only collecting data points like "One year," "Two years," and so on. That won't help them decide which candidates truly understand Excel. Your story, by contrast, will stand out in the interviewer's mind.

4. Break the rule that says your interview demeanor should be deferential and meek. If you are naturally meek, go ahead and meek your brains out.  If you are not meek and you feel stupid trying to play a meek character, don't do it. Only the people who get you, deserve you after all.

5. Break the rule that tells you to keep quiet about an energetic disturbance in the room. Sometimes a job seeker goes on an interview and realizes that the job is a terrible fit for them. They'd hate the job, but they don't say anything. They are trained to stick it out through the whole interview, even if they are scheduled to meet three or four different people.

You don't have to do that. You can name the elephant in the room. It's a great thing to do.

You can tell the person you're with, "It's fantastic to meet you, but it's obvious that this isn't the right role for me. I hate to waste your time. What do you think we should do?"

They might say, "Don't worry! If you are game, we'd love to keep talking with you because we always have different job openings becoming available. Does that sound okay?"

Speak your truth. Don't stay silent if there's something that needs to be said. You will open up the energy by speaking up, and you and everybody around you will benefit.

6. Break the rule that says you have to tell the interviewer whatever they want to know. Don't give away personal information like your current salary, your managers' contact info or your marital/parental status just because the interviewer asks for it. Anyone who has taken a mojo crushing job before will tell you that there are worse things than other month of unemployment. Walk away from organizations that don't respect your privacy.

7. Break the rule that says you can't take a pause. If your conversation goes on and on, go ahead and ask for a quick break. Get a drink of water or a cup of tea or coffee. It is easy for interviewers to forget that a candidate may have been sitting in dusty rooms for hours.

8. Break the rule that says you must wait around in windowless conference rooms while people figure out what to do with you. Break the rule that you must overlook any impoliteness on the part of your interviewers, be infinitely patient with an organization's incompetence and put up with bad treatment. You don't have to do any of those things.

You can get up and leave the interview if things get really bad.

When you enter the interview facility, keep track of your location relative to the exit, no matter how many twists and turns you take.  Also, do not hesitate to ask anyone you see, "Where is the exit, please?" rather than wander around in a strange building trying to escape.

9. Break the rule that says you must try to be the applicant the interviewer was expecting to meet. Sometimes, you'll be in an interview conversation and see a flick of surprise mixed with disappointment on the interviewer's face.

Sometimes there is even a flash of irritation on the interviewer's face, as though they are thinking, "How dare you walk in here not being from the person I envisioned?"

You may see the interviewer's face change when you answer a question differently than they expected you to.

That's fine. Don't make a course correction. There is nothing to correct. Let your interviewer get the learning Mother Nature wants him or her to have. You  are already more memorable for not having been the cookie-cutter candidate the interviewer pictured in their mind.

That's a victory!

10. Above all, break the rule that says the interview is a dog and pony show during which you, the applicant, get to prove that you are worthy of employment.

A job interview is a two-way street. You are checking the organization and its representatives out as much as they are checking you out. If you feel insulted, dismissed or treated badly at the interview, things will not get better once you get the job.

Take heed of red flags, and take off!

A job interview is nothing to dread. You have no one to impress.

You are you, and you are awesome. The people who interview you may appreciate your brand of jazz or they may not. Who cares what they think? They are bit players in your movie.

The right employer for you is out there. You will know when you meet them.

In the meantime, focus on the amazing path you have already followed and the many people you have helped. It will be easier for everyone to see your awesomeness when you feel it yourself!

Yours,

Liz

Liz Ryan is CEO/founder of Human Workplace and author of Reinvention Roadmap. Follow her on Twitter and read Forbes columns. Liz's book Reinvention Roadmap is here.

11 Signs That You Lack Emotional Intelligence

When emotional intelligence (EQ) first appeared to the masses, it served as the missing link in a

peculiar finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the

time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into the broadly held assumption that IQ was the

sole source of success.

Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical factor that sets star

performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90% of top

performers have high emotional intelligence.

“No doubt emotional intelligence is more rare than book smarts, but my experience says it is

actually more important in the making of a leader. You just can’t ignore it.” – Jack Welch

Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we

manage behaviour, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive

results.

Despite the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes it very difficult to know how much

you have and what you can do to improve if you’re lacking. You can always take a scientifically

validated test, such as the one that comes with the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book.

Unfortunately, quality (scientifically valid) EQ tests aren’t free. So, I’ve analysed the data from the

million-plus people Talent-smart has tested in order to identify the behaviours that are the

hallmarks of a low EQ. These are the behaviour that you want to eliminate from your repertoire.

You get stressed easily. When you stuff your feelings, they quickly build into the

uncomfortable sensations of tension, stress, and anxiety. Unaddressed emotions strain the mind

and body. Your emotional intelligence skills help make stress more manageable by enabling you

to spot and tackle tough situations before things escalate.

People who fail to use their emotional intelligence skills are more likely to turn to other, less

effective means of managing their mood. They are twice as likely to experience anxiety,

depression, substance abuse, and even thoughts of suicide.

You have difficulty asserting yourself. People with high EQ s balance good manners, empathy,

and kindness with the ability to assert themselves and establish boundaries. This tactful

combination is ideal for handling conflict. When most people are crossed, they default to

passive or aggressive behaviour. Emotionally intelligent people remain balanced and assertive by

steering themselves away from unfiltered emotional reactions. This enables them to neutralize

difficult and toxic people without creating enemies.

You have a limited emotional vocabulary. All people experience emotions, but it is a select

few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36% of people

can do this, which is problematic because unlabelled emotions often go misunderstood, which

leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions. People with high EQ master their

emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do

so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally

intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or

“anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you

are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.

You make assumptions quickly and defend them vehemently. People who lack EQ form an

opinion quickly and then succumb to confirmation bias, meaning they gather evidence that

supports their opinion and ignore any evidence to the contrary. More often than not,

they argue, ad nauseam, to support it. This is especially dangerous for leaders, as their under-thought.

out ideas become the entire team’s strategy. Emotionally intelligent people let their

thoughts marinate, because they know that initial reactions are driven by emotions. They give

their thoughts time to develop and consider the possible consequences and counter-arguments.

Then, they communicate their developed idea in the most effective way possible, taking into

account the needs and opinions of their audience.

You hold grudges. The negative emotions that come with holding on to a grudge are actually a

stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into fight-or-flight mode, a

survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a

threat. When a threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when a threat is

ancient history, holding on to that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating

health consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding

on to stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding on to a grudge

means you’re holding on to stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all

costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your

health.

You don’t let go of mistakes. Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their

mistakes, but they do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance,

yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success. It takes

refined self-awareness to walk this tightrope between dwelling and remembering. Dwelling too

long on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting about them completely

makes you bound to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to transform failures

into nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall

down.

You often feel misunderstood. When you lack emotional intelligence, it’s hard to understand

how you come across to others. You feel misunderstood because you don’t deliver your

message in a way that people can understand. Even with practice, emotionally intelligent people

know that they don’t communicate every idea perfectly. They catch on when people don’t

understand what they are saying, adjust their approach, and re-communicate their idea in a way

that can be understood.

You don’t know your triggers. Everyone has triggers—situations and people that push their

buttons and cause them to act impulsively. Emotionally intelligent people study their triggers

and use this knowledge to sidestep situations and people before they get the best of them.

You don’t get angry. Emotional intelligence is not about being nice; it’s about managing your

emotions to achieve the best possible outcomes. Sometimes this means showing people that

you’re upset, sad, or frustrated. Constantly masking your emotions with happiness and positivity

isn’t genuine or productive. Emotionally intelligent people employ negative and positive

emotions intentionally in the appropriate situations.

You blame other people for how they make you feel. Emotions come from within. It’s

tempting to attribute how you feel to the actions of others, but you must take responsibility for

your emotions. No one can make you feel anything that you don’t want to. Thinking otherwise

only holds you back.

You’re easily offended. If you have a firm grasp of who you are, it’s difficult for someone to say

or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and

open-minded, which create a pretty thick skin. You may even poke fun at yourself or let other

people make jokes about you because you are able to mentally draw the line between humor

and degradation.

Bringing It All Together

Unlike your IQ, your EQ is highly malleable. As you train your brain by repeatedly practising new

emotionally intelligent behaviours, it builds the pathways needed to make them into habits. As

your brain reinforces the use of these new behaviours, the connections supporting old,

destructive behaviours die off. Before long, you begin responding to your surroundings with

emotional intelligence without even having to think about it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book, Emotional

Intelligence 2.0, and the co-founder of Talent Smart, the world's leading provider of emotional

intelligence tests, emotional intelligence training, and emotional intelligence certification,

serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated

into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries.

55 Leadership Skills

Think back to a boss you had that you didn’t like. What was it about them that bothered you? What leadership skills were they lacking?

Did they ignore your suggestions? Did they task you with more work than was fair or right? Did they minimize your contributions and take the glory for themselves?

Maybe they weren’t good at explaining what they needed you to do and were impatient with you or got frustrated or angry with you when you made mistakes?

Odds are, if you’ve spent any time in the work force, you’ve either worked for, or come across someone who wasn’t a good leader.

On the other side of the fence, you have the opposite type of boss… a great leader that clearly possesses the necessary skills to be effective in her/his role.

Being a good leader is in a work place (or any situation, for that matter) is more than just bossing people around and having them do what you tell them to do. Yes, it does involve assigning tasks to people and making sure those tasks are completed, but being a good leader is much more than that, it takes leadership skills.

What Are Leadership Skills?

But what exactly are leadership skills? Well in order to understand leadership skills it helps to have a good grasp on the two main types of skills first. Skills can generally be broken down into two categories, hard skills and soft skills.

Knowing how to do your job and mastering the skills you need in order to perform that job are what are called hard skills. You learn these through training, education and experience.

In contrast, soft skills are usually interpersonal skills…or people skills. These can include things like listening skills and communication skills, to name a few.

In most cases (and for 99% of positions… not just leadership positions), companies look to hire individuals who have a certain combination of hard and soft skills that the company deems necessary to be effective in the job.

So how do hard and soft skills apply to leadership positions?

It is no different when hiring for leadership positions. The company is looking for the individual that best exemplifies the necessary leadership skills that will allow her/him to be a successful leader. In other words, there is a set of hard AND soft skills that are most desirable for candidates interviewing for leadership positions.

If you want to be hired for a leadership position, you need to identify what these leadership skills are and ensure that you are able to demonstrate them to your interviewer.

Don’t worry, we’ve pulled together a list of the top leadership skills hiring managers look for!

Our List of the Top 55 Leadership Skills

Here we’ve compiled a fairly comprehensive list of common leadership skills that hiring managers are often looking for:

1. Analytical abilities
2. Business sense
3. Calculated risk taking
4. Coaching experience
5. Commitment
6. Confidence
7. Collaboration experience
8. Commitment
9. Communication skills
10. Compassion
11. Competitiveness
12. Conflict management and resolution
13. Constructive criticism and feedback
14. Coordination experience
15. Courage
16. Creativity
17. Critical Thinking
18. Decision making
19. Delegation
20. Enthusiasm
21. Flexibility
22. Goal setting and completion
23. Good judgement
24. Honesty
25. Humour
26. Humility
27. Initiative
28. Inspirational
29. Integrity
30. Listening skills
31. Logical thinking
32. Management skills
33. Motivational skills
34. Multitasking abilities
35. Negotiation skills
36. Networking skills
37. Non-verbal skills
38. Open minded
39. Optimism
40. Organizational skills
41. Passion
42. Persuasiveness
43. Planning and strategy skills
44. Positivity
45. Problem solving
46. Relationship building
47. Resourcefulness
48. Respectful
49. Self-confidence
50. Self-motivation
51. Supportive
52. Team building
53. Trustworthiness
54. Verbal communication
55. Vision for the future

10 Interview Questions To Weed Out The Bad Fits

1. How long did it take you to get here for the interview? How long would it take at rush hour? (Few people can tolerate a commute of more than an hour. They may take the job now out of desperation, but they are poor prospects long-term; and lengthy commutes are among the major reasons for turnover.)

2. What do you do for fun? (It’s a good question to help you discover if they can get really passionate about something.)

3. What do you already know about our company (you may assume everyone has Googled your company’s name – if they haven’t, you probably don’t want them) and what else would you like to know? Is there anything that you really like, or anything that gives you pause?

4. Where do you see yourself being two years from now? Five years from now? (You’ll get an idea of how ambitious they are and/or how realistic they are.)

5. Tell me about a recent time when you had a substantial disagreement with your direct supervisor/college professor. How was it resolved? Now that you have the benefit of hindsight, in retrospect, who was right?

6. Tell me about a business success you’re really proud of. What do you think were some of the components that led to the success? Was it a team effort? Could you have done it alone?

7. Tell me about the last time you made a significant mistake. What did you learn from the experience? (Everyone has made mistakes. If the job applicant says he hasn’t, then think twice before hiring.)

8. Why do you want to work here? (Hint: if the candidate answers “to earn the good salary that you posted,” you probably don’t want him or her.)

9. If we talked to your last supervisor, what do you think they would say? What would they say about your outstanding qualities? What shortcomings would they probably point out?

10. You’ve been in the job market for a while now – where else have you applied and where else did you get past the front door? How do we compare? Where does this opportunity rank in your mind? Where are we on a scale of 1 to 10? What would it take for us to be a 10?

Entry Level Blunders At Interview

There are blunders that entry-level job seekers make during their interview that can seriously impair their ability to bag a good position in the company. Getting the first call to the company is a “hurray” moment in anyone’s life, but unfortunately, some candidates ruin their moments. Lack of experience, misinformation and carelessness are the main culprits of lousy interview practices. Interview mistakes are more common than you might think. Here are the top sins that entry-level job seekers make.

1. Not Researching the Company

Many candidates are stumped by the question “What do you know about our company?” when they have not had the foresight to research the company beforehand. Not knowing about the vision of the company can display carelessness, unprofessional attitude and laziness on the job seeker’s part. You might have aced all the confidence points, but no knowledge about the company is a let-down. To avoid this error, review the company ahead of time and ensure you do your research.

2. Incorrect Resume Facts

You must have heard the commonly passed phrase “Everybody lies on their resume”. Many people religiously stick by this practice. Well, people who jump on the bandwagon of giving fuzzy CV details are in more danger than they realise. Recruiters themselves were in the position of entry-level employment once. They are well aware of all the lies and schemes to make the CV look more capable than it is. If a recruiter asks you a detailed question about “Photoshop” which you so carelessly slapped on the resume in your “skills section”, then get prepared for rejection immediately. Recruiters seek honest individuals who are transparent in their actions. They feel that a sketchy individual will bring that unprofessional behaviour with them on the job.

3. Coming in Late

Coming in late to the interview is another sin that job seekers make. It conveys a careless and uninterested attitude towards the job. For entry-level positions, recruiters want to hire someone who has a positive attitude combined with the willingness to learn. Recruiters also seek individuals with excellent time management skills. Meeting deadline goals are the target of every company. Arriving late could mean that you are not cut out for the job.

4. Being Talkative

Being chatty on the interview without listening to the interviewer is a turn-off. Being confident is a plus, but being over-confident seems uncultured and uncouth. Additionally, there are also nervous talkers who babble on in stressful situations. One must strike a balance between talking, responding and active listening. Not only will that make you rank higher in the personality scale of classiness but it will plainly put you on the list of shortlisted candidates.

Getting the first interview call is the first step on the road to success, but you must be fully aware of all the interview sins to master it. The takeaway from the above blunders is that as an entry-level job candidate, you must be willing to show superior work-ethic, a go-getter attitude and professionalism.