Keep it Simple! |
Saturday, May 26, 2018
Monday, May 21, 2018
Breaking the Interview Rules!

The
interviewer is likely to ask another question in that silence, and
the candidate will answer, and so on.
I
encourage you to make your interviews more natural and conversational
by doing these three things:
1.
Don't wait for the interviewer to ask you a question before speaking
(examples below).
2.
Answer some of the interviewer's questions with a tag (a question
inside your answer) to gently nudge your interviewer off the script.
Here's an example: "I did a mix of customer support and sales
support things in my last job. Is this job more involved with
customer support, or sales support?"
3.
Take every opportunity you can (for instance, when you are asked an
open-ended question like "Tell me about yourself!") to get
off the script and into a human conversation. Ask a question about
the role, or ask your interviewer to tell you more about the
organization and its culture.
The
more free-wheeling and relaxed the interview conversation is, the
more comfortable you and your interviewer will be. You will be more
memorable. You will be in your power. Go ahead and break the old rule
that says you must sit silently and wait for your interviewer to
speak first!
Here
are three ways to start a conversation with your interviewer as you
sit down in the interview room (rather than waiting for him or her to
start the interview):
Thanks for inviting me. I'd love to hear about your history with the company! (Almost everyone likes to talk about themselves, and doing so will also make your interviewer more relaxed)."
"You must be busy with [a project you read about on the company's website, or a recent news item]."
"I'm glad to meet you! I'm interested to hear about your role, if you've got a moment to share."
You
are not trying to take over the conversation and control it, but
rather through your friendly and open manner to give the interviewer
social permission to put the script aside. Interviewers across the
U.S. and around the world tell me that they're dying to get off the
script but that most candidates are trained to followed the scripted
approach.
Most
candidates dare not disrupt the traditional interviewer/candidate
dynamic -- but I hope you will!
Of
course, there are other interviewers who would rather die than give
up their interview script. They love it. They swear by it. They write
to me to defend the stupidest interview questions you can imagine.
God
bless them. They are on their paths. Your job is to spot people like
that and steer clear of them. If you get a bad vibe from the people
you meet on a job interview, it's a signal from Mother Nature. Don't
take the job.
Here
are ten interviewing rules you can break now -- and you must, if you
want to get as much out of a job interview as you deserve to get.
1.
Break the rule that says you have to sit across the table from the
interviewer, hands folded and back straight, and crisply answer each
question before going quiet and waiting for the next question.
2.
Break the rule that says you have to wait for a predetermined spot in
the interview agenda -- typically near the end of the interview -- to
ask questions. If your question is organic to the conversation, ask
it when you think of it.
3.
Break the rule that says you have to keep your answers strictly on
point like an oral exam in school. You can always answer a question
with a quick story, even if it's not a story-type question like,
"Tell me about a time when..." If the interviewer asks you
how long you've been using Excel, for instance, you can tell a story
about how you used Excel to rock the house. Then you can ask the
interviewer, "How will the person in this job use Excel?"
The
interviewer may not know the answer! Their question "How long
have you used Excel?" was a dumb question because they were only
collecting data points like "One year," "Two years,"
and so on. That won't help them decide which candidates truly
understand Excel. Your story, by contrast, will stand out in the
interviewer's mind.
4.
Break the rule that says your interview demeanor should be
deferential and meek. If you are naturally meek, go ahead and meek
your brains out. If you are not meek and you feel stupid trying
to play a meek character, don't do it. Only the people who get you,
deserve you after all.
5.
Break the rule that tells you to keep quiet about an energetic
disturbance in the room. Sometimes a job seeker goes on an interview
and realizes that the job is a terrible fit for them. They'd hate the
job, but they don't say anything. They are trained to stick it out
through the whole interview, even if they are scheduled to meet three
or four different people.
You
don't have to do that. You can name the elephant in the room. It's a
great thing to do.
You
can tell the person you're with, "It's fantastic to meet you,
but it's obvious that this isn't the right role for me. I hate to
waste your time. What do you think we should do?"
They
might say, "Don't worry! If you are game, we'd love to keep
talking with you because we always have different job openings
becoming available. Does that sound okay?"
Speak
your truth. Don't stay silent if there's something that needs to be
said. You will open up the energy by speaking up, and you and
everybody around you will benefit.
6.
Break the rule that says you have to tell the interviewer whatever
they want to know. Don't give away personal information like your
current salary, your managers' contact info or your marital/parental
status just because the interviewer asks for it. Anyone who has taken
a mojo crushing job before will tell you that there are worse things
than other month of unemployment. Walk away from organizations that
don't respect your privacy.
7.
Break the rule that says you can't take a pause. If your conversation
goes on and on, go ahead and ask for a quick break. Get a drink of
water or a cup of tea or coffee. It is easy for interviewers to
forget that a candidate may have been sitting in dusty rooms for
hours.
8.
Break the rule that says you must wait around in windowless
conference rooms while people figure out what to do with you. Break
the rule that you must overlook any impoliteness on the part of your
interviewers, be infinitely patient with an organization's
incompetence and put up with bad treatment. You don't have to do any
of those things.
You
can get up and leave the interview if things get really bad.
When
you enter the interview facility, keep track of your location
relative to the exit, no matter how many twists and turns you take.
Also, do not hesitate to ask anyone you see, "Where is the exit,
please?" rather than wander around in a strange building trying
to escape.
9.
Break the rule that says you must try to be the applicant the
interviewer was expecting to meet. Sometimes, you'll be in an
interview conversation and see a flick of surprise mixed with
disappointment on the interviewer's face.
Sometimes
there is even a flash of irritation on the interviewer's face, as
though they are thinking, "How dare you walk in here not being
from the person I envisioned?"
You
may see the interviewer's face change when you answer a question
differently than they expected you to.
That's
fine. Don't make a course correction. There is nothing to correct.
Let your interviewer get the learning Mother Nature wants him or her
to have. You are already more memorable for not having been the
cookie-cutter candidate the interviewer pictured in their mind.
That's
a victory!
10.
Above all, break the rule that says the interview is a dog and pony
show during which you, the applicant, get to prove that you are
worthy of employment.
A
job interview is a two-way street. You are checking the organization
and its representatives out as much as they are checking you out. If
you feel insulted, dismissed or treated badly at the interview,
things will not get better once you get the job.
Take
heed of red flags, and take off!
A
job interview is nothing to dread. You have no one to impress.
You
are you, and you are awesome. The people who interview you may
appreciate your brand of jazz or they may not. Who cares what they
think? They are bit players in your movie.
The
right employer for you is out there. You will know when you meet
them.
In
the meantime, focus on the amazing path you have already followed and
the many people you have helped. It will be easier for everyone to
see your awesomeness when you feel it yourself!
Yours,
Liz
Liz Ryan is CEO/founder of Human
Workplace and author of Reinvention
Roadmap. Follow her on
Twitter
and read Forbes columns.
Liz's book Reinvention Roadmap
is
here.
11 Signs That You Lack Emotional Intelligence
When
emotional intelligence (EQ) first appeared to the masses, it served
as the missing link in a
peculiar
finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the highest
IQs 70% of the
time.
This anomaly threw a massive wrench into the broadly held assumption
that IQ was the
sole
source of success.
Decades
of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical
factor that sets star
performers
apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90%
of top
performers
have high emotional intelligence.
“No
doubt emotional intelligence is more rare than book smarts, but my
experience says it is
actually
more important in the making of a leader. You just can’t ignore
it.” – Jack Welch
Emotional
intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit
intangible. It affects how we
manage
behaviour, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions
to achieve positive
results.
Despite
the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes it very difficult
to know how much
you
have and what you can do to improve if you’re lacking. You can
always take a scientifically
validated
test, such as the one that comes with the Emotional Intelligence 2.0
book.
Unfortunately,
quality (scientifically valid) EQ tests aren’t free. So, I’ve
analysed the data from the
million-plus
people Talent-smart has tested in order to identify the behaviours
that are the
hallmarks
of a low EQ. These are the behaviour that you want to eliminate from
your repertoire.
You
get stressed easily. When you stuff your feelings, they quickly build
into the
uncomfortable
sensations of tension, stress, and anxiety. Unaddressed emotions
strain the mind
and
body. Your emotional intelligence skills help make stress more
manageable by enabling you
to
spot and tackle tough situations before things escalate.
People
who fail to use their emotional intelligence skills are more likely
to turn to other, less
effective
means of managing their mood. They are twice as likely to experience
anxiety,
depression,
substance abuse, and even thoughts of suicide.
You
have difficulty asserting yourself.
People with high EQ s balance good manners, empathy,
and
kindness with the ability to assert themselves and establish
boundaries. This tactful
combination
is ideal for handling conflict. When most people are crossed, they
default to
passive
or aggressive behaviour. Emotionally intelligent people remain
balanced and assertive by
steering
themselves away from unfiltered emotional reactions. This enables
them to neutralize
difficult
and toxic people without creating enemies.
You
have a limited emotional vocabulary.
All people experience emotions, but it is a select
few
who can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows
that only 36% of people
can
do this, which is problematic because unlabelled emotions often go
misunderstood, which
leads
to irrational choices and counterproductive actions. People with high
EQ master their
emotions
because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of
feelings to do
so.
While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,”
emotionally
intelligent
people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,”
“downtrodden,” or
“anxious.”
The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into
exactly how you
are
feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.
You
make assumptions quickly and defend them vehemently.
People who lack EQ form an
opinion
quickly and then succumb to confirmation bias, meaning they gather
evidence that
supports
their opinion and ignore any evidence to the contrary. More often
than not,
they
argue, ad nauseam, to support it. This is especially dangerous for
leaders, as their under-thought.
out
ideas become the entire team’s strategy. Emotionally intelligent
people let their
thoughts
marinate, because they know that initial reactions are driven by
emotions. They give
their
thoughts time to develop and consider the possible consequences and
counter-arguments.
Then,
they communicate their developed idea in the most effective way
possible, taking into
account
the needs and opinions of their audience.
You
hold grudges.
The negative emotions that come with holding on to a grudge are
actually a
stress
response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into
fight-or-flight mode, a
survival
mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills
when faced with a
threat.
When a threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your
survival, but when a threat is
ancient
history, holding on to that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can
have devastating
health
consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have
shown that holding
on
to stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease.
Holding on to a grudge
means
you’re holding on to stress, and emotionally intelligent people
know to avoid this at all
costs.
Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can
also improve your
health.
You
don’t let go of mistakes.
Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their
mistakes,
but they do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at
a safe distance,
yet
still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for
future success. It takes
refined
self-awareness to walk this tightrope between dwelling and
remembering. Dwelling too
long
on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting
about them completely
makes
you bound to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to
transform failures
into
nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back
up every time you fall
down.
You
often feel misunderstood.
When you lack emotional intelligence, it’s hard to understand
how
you come across to others. You feel misunderstood because you don’t
deliver your
message
in a way that people can understand. Even with practice, emotionally
intelligent people
know
that they don’t communicate every idea perfectly. They catch on
when people don’t
understand
what they are saying, adjust their approach, and re-communicate their
idea in a way
that
can be understood.
You
don’t know your triggers.
Everyone has triggers—situations and people that push their
buttons
and cause them to act impulsively. Emotionally intelligent people
study their triggers
and
use this knowledge to sidestep situations and people before they get
the best of them.
You
don’t get angry. Emotional intelligence is not about being nice;
it’s about managing your
emotions
to achieve the best possible outcomes. Sometimes this means showing
people that
you’re
upset, sad, or frustrated. Constantly masking your emotions with
happiness and positivity
isn’t
genuine or productive. Emotionally intelligent people employ negative
and positive
emotions
intentionally in the appropriate situations.
You
blame other people for how they make you feel. Emotions come from
within. It’s
tempting
to attribute how you feel to the actions of others, but you
must
take responsibility for
your
emotions. No one can make you feel anything that you don’t want to.
Thinking otherwise
only
holds you back.
You’re
easily offended.
If you have a firm grasp of who you are, it’s difficult for someone
to say
or
do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are
self-confident and
open-minded,
which create a pretty thick skin. You may even poke fun at yourself
or let other
people
make jokes about you because you are able to mentally draw the line
between humor
and
degradation.
Bringing
It All Together
Unlike
your IQ, your EQ is highly malleable. As you train your brain by
repeatedly practising new
emotionally
intelligent behaviours, it builds the pathways needed to make them
into habits. As
your
brain reinforces the use of these new behaviours, the connections
supporting old,
destructive
behaviours die off. Before long, you begin responding to your
surroundings with
emotional
intelligence without even having to think about it.
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR:
Dr.
Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling
book, Emotional
Intelligence
2.0,
and
the co-founder of Talent Smart, the world's leading provider of
emotional
intelligence
tests, emotional intelligence training, and emotional intelligence
certification,
serving
more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have
been translated
into
25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)